s02 e13: The Web Planet

In which there are some large insects and NOTHING HAPPENS.

Review: 

Check this out. Looks pretty exciting, doesn't it? Absolutely incorrect.

Important Firsts:

• First episode so boring that I just watched youtube videos most of the time while it played in the background. 

Musings:

• This episode was originally lost in the great 1970s purge, but it was recovered later when it turned out that some schmuck had sold a copy to Algeria. The Algerians had burned their copy, but some schmuck THERE had sold a copy to Nigeria.  Negatives were recovered in Nigeria in 1979.  
• Maybe that's why this episode is even more low-res than most. 
• Oh wait.  Apparently (and I am not making this up), in an attempt to make the rather shitty sets appear more alien, the director smeared Vaseline across the camera lens.
• The TARDIS is trapped in some sort of tractor beam and is yanked down to a planet.  
• I bet there are no webs here.
• Edit: wrong.
• The Doctor wears another stupid hat.
• Ian's pen vanishes for no reason
• there are weird echos
• There is a lot of barren landscape.
• What?
• And then who?
• NO FUCKING WAY.
• I have no words for what is going on here.
• Turns out the atmosphere on this planet is very thin.  The Doctor makes everyone wear special jackets to compensate.  It is rare that the series deals with this sort of thing.
• We learn that Vicki has acute hearing, hasn't heard of aspirin, and studied medicine, physics, and chemistry at the age of ten.  The future is a wacky place.
• Barbara still has the bracelet that Tubby gave her.  She sort of fondles it.  I don't like this.
• The Doctor takes Ian's belt.  Ian comments that his pants might not stay up.  "Well that's your affair, not mine," says the Doctor.
• The Doctor then melts Ian's belt in acid.
• The sets in this episode are incredibly lame.
• Ian gets trapped in a web.
• The TARDIS takes off on its own and strands the Doctor. This plot device would never be used again.
• PS Vicki was trapped inside.
• Everyone wanders around on blank landscape for a while.
• Barbara seems to be possessed by some sort of spooky-ghost
• oh wait maybe it's that guy.
• In case you didn't realize, he looks stupider in color.
• Oh, it's a "she"
• Everyone explores some barren landscape some more.
• How can an episode with such weird critters be so boring?
• The Doctor states that this planet is in the Isop galaxy.  This is later referenced as the home galaxy of the Face of Boe.
• Some more barren landscape.
• All the weird insect critters make and incredibly annoying beeping sound.  This continues for several hours.
• Ian and the Doctor are captured by giant ants.
• Who beep a lot.
• More barren landscape
• More being captured by annoying beeping insects.
• More walking
• More beeping
• More landscapes
• more beeping
• beeping
• beeping
• beeping
• I can't finish this.
• I wish the whole thing were more like this.