s02 e12 The Romans

In which the Doctor impersonate a famous lute player, and a fat man chases Barbara around Rome for several hours.

Review:

Not exactly bad, per se, but definitely one of the more stupid episodes of all time.

Important Firsts:

• First successful attempt at fisticuffs by the Doctor.
• First vigorous humping between Barbara and Ian. 

Musings:

• In a sort of opening cliffhanger, the TARDIS topples off a cliff.
• This is quickly ignored when the episode cuts to a month later, when the TARDIS crew has settled down to a quiet life of hedonism in ancient Rome.
• Vicki whines that they aren't having adventures as she was promised.  Viewers can sympathize, since watching Ian eat grapes for ten minutes is hardly good television.
• At the market, Vicki apparently shares Susan's obsession with fine fabrics and insisting that Barbara make her dresses.
• A cute old lyre player dodders down the road.
• AND IS BRUTALLY STABBED TO DEATH!
• The TARDIS crew shares a meal and talks about candied chestnuts and hibiscus honey and a lot of other shit.
• When the Doctor says she can come along on a trip to Rome, Vicki has one of the most adorable reactions in Doctor Who.  Check out this video and jump to 10:43.  Reaction comes at 10:53.  Play it over and over again and watch it get more and more absurd. 
• She acts like Paprika when I open a can of catfood.
• Barbara insists on combing Ian's hair so that it looks sexier. Ian pretends not to be pleased.
• I still find it hard to believe that the producers did not intend any sexual tension between these two.
• You can go to the video and jump to 12:03.
• The Tenth Doctor briefly references this adventure in "The Fires of Pompei"
• The Doctor discovers the dead lyre player and decides to impersonate him to discover who the stabber was.
• On a very related note, in the first segment cliffhanger, a stabber enters the Doctor's chamber. 
• The Doctor FISTICUFFS THE SHIT OUT OF HIM.
• And who says only the Third Doctor knew karate!
• Wait why is RORY here?
• On a related note, Rory is a pimp. (Warning: Contains spoiler for "A Good Man Goes to War")
• Some stabbers interrupt Barbara and Ian.  Ian judos the shit out of them for a while, but then Barbara accidentally smashes a vase over his head, dooming both of them.
• Barbara is to be sold as a sex slave. Ian is put on a galley ship,
• The galley ship is actually a pretty impressive set piece. 
• Barbara gets purchased at the auction by Tubby-Tubby Two-By-Four
• A massive storm (with special effects that are still impressive by today's standards, probably because they use mass quantities of real water rather than CGI) strikes the galley ship.
• Ian is thrown overboard and dies.
• No actually he is recaptured and forced to fight Paprika in a gladiator pit.
• Check out the fact that that wiki article contains every appearance of a lion in Doctor Who.
• Turns out that Tubby is the Caesar
• He and the Doctor play dueling lyres.
• Tubby-Tubby chases Barbara for sex.  Fortunately, he is, well, tubby.
• This is like watching Wile E Coyote and Road Runner.
• The Doctor and Tubby-Tubby take off their clothes and become friends.
• Turns out the Doctor has some fairly impressive biceps.
• Vicki accidentally poisons Tubby-Tubby.
• The whole episode feels rather like a french farce.
• Attack of the Rorys
• The Doctor uses his brainy specs to set fire to Rome.
• To make a long story short, shit hits the fan and Rome burns to the ground.
• Ian and Barbara are flirting again.
• Oh my god what are they doing now?
• I have nothing else to say.